Balancing Act May 26, 2011

When people say they don’t have time to workout and eat right, all I can do it stare at them. I know that maybe a small number of people really do not have time to workout every day and always make the right choices when it comes to eating but the average busy person should be able to. I work three jobs, attend college full time, have a steady boyfriend whom I adore and spend as much time with as possible, yet, with planning and time management I still work out 5-6 times a week. I’m not saying this to puff myself up or tear others down but as encouragement to those who think they don’t have time to workout. I get asked all the time how I can do so many different things and still get to enjoy life.

Here’s what I tell people: “I make a time slot for everything I want to do and give it some cushion time in-case something goes wrong.” I honestly could not do near as much as I do without my little blue planner and black notebook . Every single thing goes in there, every assignment, every shift, every date, every thing that needs to be done. I sit down at the start of the week and plan my meals, shopping, and workouts. Its that simple. If I did not write every little thing down I’d forget everything. Now this isn’t to say I stick to it 100%. Some days the boyfriend will call me up and ask if I want to go out and do something and I’ll just rearrange my day so we can, maybe something that I planned to do today can be done tomorrow in a free slot. Or tell him that I’d love to but I still need to workout and suggest we go to the gym together. (He works out as much as I do and enjoys it!) Pretty simple.

So, make the time to do the things that are important to you. If working out isn’t, then don’t schedule it, if you really want that body you dream of then you’re going to have to schedule a set workout time each and every single day.

Why “learning2eat”? May 22, 2011

I use the name “learningtoeat” or “learning2eat” because eating has been something I’ve had to relearn! My whole life I was very skinny and I thought it was just I was young and had a super fast metabolism. However, when I started college in 2009 I was 5’4 and 95 pounds. I thought I was normal and healthy, just very slim. I quickly gained 25 or so pounds my first semester of college. I hated the way I looked, I couldn’t figure out why I was gaining weight for the first time in my life! Little did I know I had been anorexic my whole life. I hated eating and would often come up with excuse to not eat when I was living at home. I loved being small but I never knew that I had a bad relationship with food. I was a vegetarian on and off my whole life, eating meat when I was required to at home. I always thought this was because I loved animals and I hated knowing I was eating something that was once alive. Little did I know I was using it as a source of control over my crazy life. So going to college and having to eat in front of people that would comment on how little I ate, made me eat a more normal amount of food, which since my body was all jacked up from years of starving myself, my body hoarded every calorie as fat!

After a year and half of yo-yo dieting and crazy running programs I realized I had an eating disorder. I started by telling my boyfriend that I thought I USE to be anorexic. I didn’t tell him, at the time, that I had been bulimic for over a year and would bounce between that and anorexia. After him finally asking why I wasn’t losing the weight I wanted if I was ALWAYS in the gym…I broke down and told him. He was scared for me but he listened while I talked and then we talked about the reasons why I was doing this to myself.  After we got to the root of the problem, we set up a plan to help me feel okay about eating again. Basically I had to learn how to eat all over again. I told him in April 2011 and since then I’ve only had one “binge and purge” attack, and that was about a week after I told him about it. Since then I’ve been good and taking care of myself. Every once in awhile I still feel the need to “purge”, I don’t though. I remember my boyfriends words to me one night. He hugged me tight and whispered “please take care of this body, it belongs to the girl I love”. I promised I would and I have. I am now training for my first figure competition and eating healthy foods on a regular eating schedule. I don’t cry when I eat, I don’t starve myself, I don’t do hours and hours of cardio anymore. I am finally back in control of my own life! It feels great, if you’ve never had this problem you can’t really understand how great it feels not to look at every piece of food and want to cry and feel guilty for even just THINKING about eat. Its mind-blowing!

Anyways, that is my story about how I’ve been learning to eat. I hope y’all join me in this journey to my first show and beyond!

This me at 95lbs. So sick and frail looking!

This is me just about when I really started dealing with my food problems and trying to get my head back together